how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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