At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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