I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
