Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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