i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
