Pants 0. Shit 1.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
