I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I touched a dick in church today
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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