The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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