Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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