wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
