He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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