okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
