I don't remember. Are we still dating?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hippo gnu deer
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
