check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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