I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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