billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
