I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
