I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
