So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
