I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
whose parrot is this?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
