Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
