Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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