Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sacagawea was the original milf.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
