check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
