I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
