But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
