Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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