Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
