Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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