i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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