I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can tuck mytits in my pants
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
