Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
