PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
