fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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