you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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