By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
