we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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