so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
