At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
