She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
