If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
