It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
