I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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