Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
