this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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