Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
