it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
