who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
