He is an equal opportunity slut.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
