I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
