physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
