This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
